California Dreaming Santa Monica Starlet Review

California Dreaming Santa Monica rabbit style vibrator propped against two seashells

The California Dreaming Santa Monica Starlet is a rabbit vibrator, with a pulse plate. Rabbit vibes are the sort of sex toys that are praised highly, and have gained fame through shows like Sex and the City, but they’re also equally hated by many people. In theory, they sound like they could be great: a toy that can be inserted for internal stimulation, while also stimulating your clitoris (or your preferred term), and sometimes supposedly can even be hands-free. It’s not that straight forward in use for many people though because the toy doesn’t fit their body shape, or it’s too weak in one area and too strong in another, etc. In other words, I really don’t have a great deal of interest in most rabbit vibrators.                             

Sometimes inventive ideas still peak my interest though and I’m convinced to try one out. I saw the Santa Monica Starlet with the pulsing plate and my ears (genitals) pricked up. A pulsing plate, you say? Something that can rhythmically tap my G-spot over and over, without tiring? Where do I sign up? 

So I bought it, even with my usual disinterest for rabbits. It came packaged like my other Calexotics toys, in a box with a foam cutout of its shape, and the same charger as some of their other toys (I do love that their chargers are interchangeable). The toy itself is a really pretty blue and is made of silicone with a small strip of ABS plastic with metallic plating on the handle area. The pulse plate feels solid, with a circle surrounding it that isn’t attached to the rest of the toy, so it can, y’know, pulse. It has three buttons, one to turn it on/off, one for the pulse plate, and one for the stimulation arm so they can be controlled individually. You do have to press the corresponding button for each part to cycle through their levels/patterns which allows for good customization. The pulse plate has 3 settings and the stimulation arm has 10 various settings of 3 solid vibrations and 7 patterns. They’re the same steady vibrations and patterns as some of my other Calexotics toys. 

The Santa Monica Starlet unfortunately didn’t match up well to my vag-to-clit ratio so I was stuck lifting the arm up and laying it to either side of my clit, so it wasn’t just stabbing me the whole time. This means not getting a lot of direct clit stimulation and the vibrations feeling weaker since it’s pressed against so much body. I was willing to overlook this though because the main point of interest for me was the pulse plate. I really just wanted to feel steady thump-thumping against my G-spot and frontal wall area. This is when my disappointment, nay, ire was provoked. The pulse plate doesn’t work when inserted. If I turn the pulse plate to the highest level I can get it to actually pulse somewhere between seven and ten times, and then it just gives out. So much for G-spot thumping that never tires. The first and second level, just forget it; they do nothing at all. The thumping plate works outside of my vagina, but what good is that? I can even apply a decent amount of pressure with my finger but apparently it’s not tough enough for my insides. 

My first thought was maybe I needed to warm up with another toy first because my muscles were just clamping on the Santa Monica Starlet too hard. So I whipped out a bigger toy and thrusted away with that hoping that would make the job easier. However, this Starlet still crumbled under the pressure. This isn’t a one time experience either, I bought this toy almost 4 years ago, and I tried to make it work the first year I had it, and the results never changed. To add to all that this toy is also loud and obnoxious. I mean, yes it’s got a plate thrusting up and down really fast and that isn’t going to be silent but you will not be using this toy discreetly in any form. If privacy is a concern for you, you will definitely need some music or TV (or other ambient noise) on the louder end to masquerade the sound, otherwise people will be questioning what sort of power tool you’re using. If you try to just use the vibrator arm without the pulsing plate you may enjoy it if you don’t require the rumbliest of vibes to get off, and you can make the shape work for you. For me it’s like a terrible game of see-saw. Deep enough penetration means terrible clit placement and stabbing, and proper clit placement means losing depth. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be playing games of compromise during my masturbation. 

This toy has an insertable shaft of 4.25 inches, and 1.5 inches width. The clit arm is 2.5 inches in length and 1 inch in width. It lasts up to 150 minutes on a full charge, and takes the same amount of time to charge fully. Calexotics lists it as waterproof so cleaning is easy, and you could muffle some of the sounds it makes in water. 

Don’t waste your money. That’s my advice when it comes to this toy. I know that everyone is different and this toy will probably work for someone, but I think it’s far too big of a gamble when there’s so many other sex toy options in the world.

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