I was drawn to the Orgasm Monster Pro because I love pinpoint stimulation, and I am always excited to try out products that I can potentially recommend as affordable alternatives to some of my favorite toys. Funzze is a sex-positive company that focuses on producing affordable sex toys that are still made of body-safe, and quality materials. They also offer a 1 year warranty on their products.
The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro is $37.99 USD at the time of me writing this, and that is a fairly affordable price range for many people. Making it a good, affordable way to figure out what types of stimulation you enjoy if you’re new to buying sex toys. Motor and vibration quality is often dependent on the price, so if you already own a lot of sex toys and know that you need a rumblier, deeper penetrating motor the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro may not meet your expectations, but if you’re new to sex toys this model is likely going to be beneficial to helping you learn your preferences.
The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro Specs, Controls, and Noise Level
The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro comes in black and is made of body-safe silicone, and a metallic, rose-gold colored ABS plastic band around the handle area. The silicone has a smooth, almost powdery-matte finish feel. The Orgasm Monster Pro stands 7.9 inches tall, 1.5 inches wide at the bottom of the handle, and the pinpoint tip is 0.4 inches. As the toy and its attachments are made of silicone be sure to avoid using silicone lubricant with it.
The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro is controlled by one button to turn it on/off and cycle through its 7 functions. The original version, the Orgasm Monster, has a 3 button control panel, and I am not sure why a company would downgrade from that for a successor. The manual included says there’s 10 functions on one side of the paper and 7 functions on the other, but 7 is the correct number. There are 3 steady vibration speeds, and 4 patterns, but 1 of the patterns is close to how the steady speeds feel.
When you turn the Orgasm Monster Pro on it has a light that flashes between blue, green, and red the entire time you use it. It doesn’t change based on the speed or pattern you’re using. I personally find this light annoying, so I keep it covered up with a blanket, but it won’t bother everyone.
The Orgasm Monster Pro is listed as “silent” on Funzze’s website, and that’s just laughable. It makes noise; it’s not as loud as a wand vibrator, but it’s definitely not the quietest toy I own. The noise level can definitely be muffled under a blanket, or by playing music/television, but if you’re aiming for extreme discretion you will need to find ways to muffle the noise.
The Orgasm Monster Pro Silicone Attachments
The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro rabbit ear style attachment allows me to stroke my clit better than I would have expected. I have bought vibrators in the past specifically hoping they’d be good at stroking my clit, so it was an unexpected, but pleasant surprise the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro could do it. The ears are quite flexible so I have no issue getting them to spread on either side of my clit, but it’s still firm enough to stroke the length of my clitoral shaft and feel noticeable.
The “tongue tip” attachment as it’s called is less useful for me. While the motor in the Orgasm Monster Pro does make the silicone “tongue” flick, the silicone is not firm enough, or thick enough for me to really feel it. If I can manage to get the tip of the tongue underneath my clitoral hood then I can get a bit of stimulation out of it, but not enough to bring me even close to an orgasm.
The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro works best without either of the extra silicone heads if you’re aiming for the most pinpoint sensation. My preferred form of clitoral stimulation is pinpoint; there’s a reason my most used clit toys are the Eroscillator and Zumios. The head without the silicone attachments is 0.4 inches, making it quite a bit chunkier than the head of the Zumio X, but definitely more pinpoint than a standard bullet vibe. I personally would like it to be a bit smaller, but it’s still in the right range of size to actually be pinpoint.
How the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro Vibration Ranks
The vibration in the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro is buzzy, and powerful. There’s really no other way to dice it, it’s one of the buzziest motors I’ve ever used in a sex toy. It is a powerful motor, but power is only going to do so much when the quality of the vibration is that buzzy. The raw power of the motor is definitely going to be enough for some people, despite how buzzy the toy is, but it’s not for me. The stimulation is extremely surface level and numbing after a while, and that’s on the first setting.
The second and third settings are still steady vibration, but they’re even buzzier. They do get more powerful, but to me it can become more uncomfortable. I can’t stay on the first setting for the entire time I’m using the Orgasm Monster Pro, and expect to reach orgasm, but using the second and third setting increases the numbing issue.
The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro has 4 pattern settings after the first 3 steady speeds, and they’re actually not awful patterns. The first pattern (4th setting) is consistent tapping, the second pattern almost feels like a steady setting with just a subtle up and down change, the third pattern taps four times and then has a longer “note” before repeating, and the fourth pattern is a speed up/slow down effect. I don’t reach orgasm with patterns from basically any toy and the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro is no exception, but I do like some of the options included.
I have only been able to reach two orgasms with the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro, and most of the heavy lifting that got me there was provided by a dildo stimulating my A-spot. The high-powered buzzing just numbs me out too much, making it really hard to reach an orgasm, even with the pinpoint stimulation. I can usually power through to reach an orgasm if a toy is providing pinpoint stimulation but unfortunately that is not the case here. When I have managed to orgasm it feels very surface level and I’m left feeling rather unsatisfied.
I can use the rabbit ears to disperse the sensations some, and delay the numbing sensation for a while, but it’s not an intense enough form of stimulation for me to reach orgasm. Like I said, I do enjoy the stroking sensation it provides, because it really allows me to stimulate my entire external clitoral shaft. It just isn’t the right sort of intensity for me to reach orgasm.
The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro and my Pain
The buzzy motor in the Orgasm Monster Pro makes it extremely uncomfortable for me to hold. Like I’ve talked about before, my chronic pain is spreading to more areas of my body and my wrists (and right hand specifically) are getting worse. The high frequency buzzing makes my wrist and hand ache for a few hours after using the toy, and it’s borderline outright painful to hold during use. The handle is covered in a thin layer of silicone but it does nothing to prevent the vibrations from traveling into your hand. This is the first sex toy that has affected my hand and wrist to this level.
Who the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro May be Good for
So I have been including a section like this in my reviews more and more lately, because there’s things I want to point out about products that I think could make them good for someone else, even if they’re not always good for me. The Orgasm Monster Pro isn’t a big hit for me, as you can see here, but that doesn’t mean it can’t work for anyone.
The Orgasm Monster Pro has a powerful motor, so if you know you like a lot of power and can handle buzzing, this very well may be right up your alley. If you don’t get numb from surface level buzzing this pinpoint vibrator will likely work a lot better for you than it did for me.
The Orgasm Monster Pro can also be used on nipples, and the rabbit ear attachment is flexible enough to accommodate many nipple sizes, if that’s something you know you like, or want to explore. The quality of vibration that people like on their nipples can often be different than what they prefer on their genitals. You can also just use the Orgasm Monster Pro without any attachments on the nipples.
Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro Battery and Charging
The Orgasm Monster Pro charges through magnetic charging, and takes about 3 hours to fully charge. The toy lasts about an hour on high, according to the manual. I have used it for close to 2 hours in a single session and it didn’t run out of battery, but I wasn’t running it on high the entire time. I have used it over multiple sessions on a single charge and it also didn’t run out of battery, so I would say that the battery life is good.
Cleaning, Waterproof level, and Storage
The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro is rated as “submersible” in the manual and on the website, but the manual also states “do not leave under water long” so it’s a bit unclear. I’m going to assume it’s fairly waterproof because there are no open ports since it’s magnetic charging. I would say it’s fine for taking in the shower for sure, and potentially the bath, if it’s not too long.
Cleaning the Orgasm Monster Pro is straightforward using warm water and mild soap, the only thing to pay extra attention to is the texture of the power button and the crease around the metallic plastic band. The attachments are also silicone and easy to clean off. Always make sure the Orgasm Monster Pro is dry before connecting it to the charger.
Funzze provides a silky drawstring pouch for storing the toy and keeping up with the extra attachments. Always make sure everything is dry before storing it away.
*This post was sponsored by Funzze. All writing and opinions are my own. Affiliate links are used throughout post.
